Adult Attachment Interview
During the class, we talked
adult about the attachment interview(AAI). There are three
major classifications of AAI ,which are secure-autonomous, dismissive and preoccupied.
I was wondering which type of AAI I belong to.
When we discussed on Hallmark questions on five adjectives describing the relationship
with my mother.
I had never thought about
this and also have had a hard time to answer it. The reason I hesitated about
this question is because I went through
two different classification. The first
stage of my life classifies as insecure-preoccupied. My impression of my mother
is loving,strict,nervous, afraid and kind until in high school. I realized that
I am belong to insecure-preoccupied despite her loving figure. I was preoccupied by confusion
or oscillation about my past experiences and overwhelmed by some frightening
experiences. I remembered that she sent me to my grandparents’ place for 2years
due to her overseas job posting when I was 9years old. I felt I was abandoned
by my mother and so angry that I only
talked to her over the phone a few times for two years. When I look back, this makes me
insecure and affects my relationship with my mother.
The second stage of my life
is secure-autonomous, which happened after becoming a Christian.I found
security and identity in Christ; it turned my world up-side down. God delivered
and saved me with His everlasting love. I always can remember “Therefore, if
anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is
here!”(NIV 2Corinthians 5:17)) . I can live abundance life in Jesus Christ.I
started to open my heart and had courage to share with my mother about my
feelings over childhood experience. There are a lot of misunderstandings and
family issues which I never understood as a nine year old little girl. My
mother told me her life stories, how she struggled life as a working young
mother and wife. She regretted that she didn’t give me much care and attention
during my childhood. After listening all these stories, I had better understanding
on my mother and started to respect her. I was so touched by her love to pour
out to child despite some mistakes she made. I am so thankful that God
reconcile relationship between my mother and me, now we are good friends. I
love my mother.
Reference
Crowell,
J. A. (2009). Adult Attachment Interview. In H. T. Reis & S. Sprecher
(Eds.), Encyclopedia of Human Relationships (Vol. 1, pp. 39-41).
Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE Publications.
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ReplyDeleteWhat a great testimony Mingyue! I am sure that your experience will not be wasted. God who is faithful to you, He will use you to inspire others who have gone through the same struggle.
ReplyDeleteI think that your reaction towards your mother when she left has something to do with the psychosocial crisis during the stage that you are in that time (Industry vs. Inferiority). Were there times that you compared yourself with other kids your age and you wish you were like them? Were you jealous when you see other kids with their mother taking care of them? These are just some of the symptoms that you are feeling inferior and having lack of self-worth. But as you noticed, as you grow older you also overcome this inferiority and develop your self-esteem. As your cognitive also improves, you begin to understand more the complex situations and challenges in your life.
Mingyue, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this testimony and how the AAI was able to play a part in understanding your relationship with your mother. As you could imagine, Erik Erikson's developmental stages play a significant role in attachment styles. Industry vs. Inferiority complex was challenged in your life because of your mother not being present at the time. I appreciate your willingness to open up your experiences about your mother.
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