Prodigal Son- Sam
Abstract
Adolescence is a time of
experiencing role and identity
confusion, also describes as the identity formation process of adolescence; it
is a slow process of ego growth. This paper documents the interview with my
friend Sam, who has been struggled with confidence since childhood. Though Sam
was brought up by Christian parents, they are very strict with him .I have
discovered that parenting are linked with development of adolescence. During
darkest moment of Sam’s life, God intervened; he is now a totally new person in
Christ. Hormones changes affects the neurobiology development in Adolescence. This link to experimentation
with alcohol.
I interviewed one of my friends-Sam,
who is in later adolescence stage. He is 21years old and is in his sophomore year. According to
Erikson, major developments of this stage are the identity formation and role
confusion . He suggested that every
adolescent experiences an identity crisis during which he or she has to find an
answer to the basic questions: “Who am I?” “Where did I come from?”, and “What
do I want to become?”. Identity confusion develops when an adolescent fails to
develop a coherent and enduring sense of self, experiencing significant
difficulties regarding his or her roles, values and choices.( Erikson,1968,page156)
Understanding how the brain is
changing during this period and how these changes impact individuals.
Sam was cooperative and was very open
about what his life is like at different stage. He grows up in Christian
family, surrounded by all these lovely people. But Sam always feels lack of
confidence in a lot of things he does, especially in front of his parents. This
is the biggest challenge that he has to deal with since childhood. Apparently
,parenting and identity formation are dynamically interlinked. Parents are
important source of socialization for their developing adolescents. He described himself as a prodigal son in
early-adolescence. He drank, slept in class never seriously studied and often
fought with friends and did all the things
pleasing his flesh which sinned against God. It is empty in his heart though
he knows God is there. Sam is lost and confused about himself, and wondered
where is his future. Then came a turning point in his life when he was in the
senior year of high school. Parents decided to send Sam to a missionary school
for 2years before starting college . At this school, he touched by teacher’s
unconditional love and a living example of Jesus Christ. He saw so many broken
people like him: alcoholism, drug abused ,porn addicted . And how everyone’s
life has been transformed by God. Bible became a living book for Sam, he
encountered God. Sam realized that he has a new identity ,he is a God’s child.
There is a purpose in the life. He remembered what God promised. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ,
the new creation has come: the old has gone, the new is here.(2Corinthians
5:17,NIV)
Sam is now a God-fearing young man,
and he loves the Lord. He shared his passion that he wants to be a pastor in the
future which can help people just like him. He still struggles with confidence problem,
but he believes that God is healing and equipping him. It’s a exciting journey
ahead for Sam.
Reference:
Demir, B., Kaynak-Demir, H., &
Sönmez, E. I. (2010). Sense of identity and depression in adolescents. The
Turkish Journal of Pediatrics, 52(1), 68-72. Retrieved from
http://search.proquest.com/docview/216281616?accountid=12085
Ernst, M., Romeo, R. D., &
Andersen, S. L. (2009). Neurobiology of the development of motivated behaviors
in adolescence: A window into a neural systems model. Pharmacology
Biochemistry and Behavior, 93(3), 199-211.
doi:http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.pbb.2008.12.013
I have worked in the church setting for a while and I have seen that children who were brought up by strong Christian families are not exempted of becoming like a “prodigal son”. Some are even children of pastors and missionaries who became delinquent and some were addicted to drugs and alcohol. To some of them, it just started out of curiosity until they became addicted to it. Erikson discussed that the search for identity inevitably leads some adolescents into substantial turmoil as they encounter the adolescent identity crisis. Adolescents who stumble in their efforts to find a suitable identity may go off course in several ways (Feldman, 2014). In adolescence, their view of spirituality became abstract but I’m glad that Sam found his way out. I’m sure as he mature he will move into the reflective stage in which he will develop a more broad view of his faith and values.
ReplyDeleteFeldman, R. S. (2014). Development across the life span (7th ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education, Inc.
Reading the story of your friend Sam, brought back a lot of memories in my own life. I too was raised in a Christian family and attended church every Sunday. I grew up knowing every story of the Bible that was taught in Sunday School, and claimed to a faithful Christian. However, in reality, during my adolescent years, my life took a turn and was heading in the wrong direction. Facing my own identity vs. isolation crisis, I began to seek my own fulfillment in life. I consumed my time with outside sources that I felt gave identity to who I was as a person. For years I struggled with the temptation of finding my identity in a relationship with a girl. Time after time, and woman after woman, my struggles came from the inability to satisfy my own desperate desires. Soon, I found that women alone could not satisfy who I was, and soon found myself in a struggle with pornography. Yet, it wasn't until I became desperate enough to let my own fleshly desires go, that I truly found my identity in the Jesus Christ. Just like your friend Sam, I had to become broken enough to allow Christ to fill that void in my life with His own love and compassion. Being a Christian for years, had allowed me to "know" Christ, yet it wasn't until I truly allowed Christ to completely take over my heart and desires that I finally found my true identity in Him. I appreciate you taking the time to listen to your friend and to understand the struggles and the pain that came from his own struggle in the identity vs. isolation stage. I believe for many adolescents, their biggest struggle comes from not their own identity, but their lack of identity in Jesus Christ. Having a firm foundation in Christ will establish a lasting hope in our lives, that the world can never take away.
ReplyDeleteWhat a touching story! I feel that we all have been prodigals in some sense -- inevitably searching to fill this God-shaped void in our lives with something. It is only when we recognize that God's mercy and grace makes us complete through the salvation offered by Christ that we can truly rest in Him and not seek temporary idols. I love that in our profession, we will have the opportunity to offer that freeing solution to those who are having battles.
ReplyDeleteTravis, I really appreciate your transparency and sharing your story. I know that God will use your past struggles to minister to others!
Just read the post as well as the comments. As a parent I was moved by the post as well as the responses. I hope to be available to my children when they face struggles. Sam ended up in a place where he can use his struggles to minister to others.
ReplyDeleteLooking back on my adolescence I can readily admit that I was also a prodigal. I came to faith at an early age. However, with the pressures of life, from without and within, I spent many years alienated from God. Thankfully, somehow, when I was 21 I found my way back to God.
Even though I am now a pastor, I have to guard my heart. I have to humbly realize that I need Gods help every day.
Travis & Christina, I was blessed by you response posts..
Min,
ReplyDeleteWhat a great story that you were able to hear and share with us. I often think that the struggles of those who are born and raised in Christian homes are overlooked. We all in some capacity or another have had struggles feeling the presence of God and knowing how to feel fulfilled in life. Growing up in a Christian home when I was young and sometimes even now I feel like I am so far from God and that the Bible is just a book. I like how you said that the Bible became a living book! That is so amazing to think about the Bible being living, it is always applicable to every circumstance we are in.
Thank you so much for sharing!!
Travis,thank u so much for sharing ! I agree with you that a lot of christians are lack of identity in Jesus Christ.Thank God that we can help these people through our counseling ministry!
ReplyDeleteJess,Christina,Gary&Susan,thanks for sharing your stories! Undoubtedly, Adolescence is golden times of our life! When we looked back, there is regret what we have done in the past.But this is one of motivation that i want to be a counselor to do for others what i wish someone had done for me.
ReplyDelete